The Thursday Dispatch - July 3, 2025

How am I someone who lacks the discipline to do things I enjoy? A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about planning my media diet, where I’d preplan the TV shows I’d watch through the week. You know how much of that I’ve done? If you guessed absolutely zero, you’d be correct.

I admit I have a horrible attention span sometimes, especially when I’m tired. I have tv shows I want to watch, games I’d like to play, and albums I want to listen to. I want to review these things to give me more to write about. So, what gives?

I’m historically off and on with my notebooks. I’m currently on. I feel better when I’m using them. I’m more organized and feel more connected with myself. That said, I’m using them mostly with work and not as much at home. Maybe this is my issue. Because I can clarify I feel well connected with work, where I’m using my notebooks to sort out what’s in my brain. Then I get home and blank everything out.

Over the past month, I’ve dealt with my off and on depression, a little bit of loneliness, burnout from work, frustration with work, and questioning my identity. I’ll elaborate more on that last part soon, I think. This whole thing is how I can’t keep the promises I make to myself, right?

But here’s an idea. What if I dump my home life in my big, ass black notebook that collects dust on my desk? That’s my daily tasks, my feelings, that media diet I keep talking about, my diet, my workouts, and anything else that comes up. The thing about notebooks is they’re blank canvases, and you can really go any direction you want with them. Maybe just maybe, I can get some things together with myself. Just maybe I’ll realize my life isn’t as empty as I sometimes think it is. This is something I can get behind.

So, can I build this habit? I’ll try. But it could take a while. Here’s what Atomic Habits author James Clear has to say about building habits:

On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And how long it takes a new habit to form can vary widely depending on the behavior, the person, and the circumstances. In Lally’s study, it took anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for people to form a new habit.

In other words, if you want to set your expectations appropriately, the truth is that it will probably take you anywhere from two months to eight months to build a new behavior into your life — not 21 days.

Interestingly, the researchers also found that “missing one opportunity to perform the behavior did not materially affect the habit formation process.” In other words, it doesn’t matter if you mess up every now and then. Building better habits is not an all-or-nothing process.

“Building better habits is not an all-or-nothing process.” OK, fine, I won’t put too much pressure on myself. But I do hope I’m closer to two months than I am eight months. So, I’m going to try the moment I wake up writing in my big notebook, using my pocket notebook throughout the day to fill in the blanks before I end things back in the big notebook right before bed. I can’t promise I’ll do this every day, since my work schedule throws a few wrenches at me from time to time. But, most days. I’ll check back in two months.

Weekly Photo

Today’s photo is a throwback to the last time I was in Seattle, the summer of 2018. One thing about Seattle being so far north is that in late-June and early-July, you have daylight just after 5 a.m. This worked for me as someone who’s used to a two-hour time zone difference, as 5 a.m. in Seattle is 7 a.m. in Omaha. I’m naturally up. So, with daylight, I felt secure enough to venture out in the early hours. I’d often take the light rail in from SeaTac into downtown, get off at the University Street stop, head down to the waterfront to grab a coffee, and would then walk the waterfront to the sculpture park and back. Outside of coffee and train fare, this was free.

This particular shot was taken after I realized I had time to make my waterfront excursion one last time and still have plenty of time to catch my flight back east. So, I took the 5:30 train to the city and did the whole thing I do. This shot was taken at 6:34 a.m. It gave me one last time to breathe the city in. Then I rode the rail back to SeaTac. I remember looking back at the skyline from the train and letting a few tears go. I didn’t know when I’d make it back again.

I was supposed to move to Seattle, not only for myself, but for a girlfriend I had up until 2017. It didn’t work out how we had planned. I always felt a little bad for how it worked out, since I left her hanging out there. But, she figured things out, so I’m happy for that at least. But, this would be the last time I’d see her as well, as we went to a Mariners game a couple of days prior.

As fate would have it, she’d meet another guy through social media (her and I united via Twitter), who happens to live in Omaha. So, combined with the costs of living in tax-heavy Washington State, she’s moving back to Omaha. She’s been in town for the past week and she and I got coffee a few days ago. It was good to catch up. It was good to have a friend to talk to (her and I have been on good terms). I needed to get out for sure, so I was thankful for the opportunity. It’s funny how things come full circle sometimes.

Weekly Links

The Best-Designed Town in the Netherlands (and therefore, the world) - YouTube - The town of Houton in the Netherlands is designed to make cars the least convenient mode of transportation. The result is one of the calmest places to live. It goes to show that it’s not that your city can’t be like this, it just doesn’t want to be. The world needs more Houtons.

Have YOU ever seen a #tornado move like this?? - YouTube - I watched this form live online. I’ve been mesmerized with it since.

Songs In the Chaos

This is my weekly list of songs that either caught my attention or came to mind this past week. I post these throughout the week on a site called Crucial Tracks, where they’re also added to a playlist on Apple Music. Feel free to follow me on either space.