Thinking About Going Dark on Social Media

This is just a thought that’s been on my mind the last couple of days. I’ve already kicked social media apps like Facebook and Instagram off my phone around the end of October. The next step would be to kick these apps off of my iPad as well and potentially put a block on them in my browser on my laptop. Beyond that, it’s going dark entirely.

I’ve already done quite a bit. I’ve limited notifications, turning them off on my devices entirely and limiting what in-app notifications pop up. I’ve filtered the hell out of my Facebook feed, limiting it to close friends only and scrutinizing who I let follow me on these platforms and what they can see if I do let them on.

Yet, it doesn’t feel like enough. It still feels far too noisy. I still feel the pull to check these things on my devices. I’ve seen a bit of advice that we should try reading, journaling, or simply sitting in silence during the first part of our day, but I find these things even hard to try or maintain with the constant pull of these social networks. Even worse, none of it feels fulfilling. None of this feels like I’m connecting with anyone on them. Definitely not in the same way I would if I were actually having a conversation with them.

I recently wrote about how I wish I had a feed of my friends in my RSS reader I could look forward to instead. Something that felt more intentional and less influenced by the noise of socials. Something that feels deeper and more intimate. I view personal websites as an extension of our homes. This is where I’m the most comfortable telling my stories and speaking my truths and ideas. This platform nurtures this kind of thing. It’s me with a blank canvas to write whatever my fingers can output onto a keyboard. I can pause without getting distracted. I can calculate my next move. It’s serene.

This makes me think about going dark on socials and only posting here. Honestly, I don’t feel comfortable with the number of coworkers I have following me on Facebook for example. I’m in a leadership position and our company policy states I can only hang out with those who are my peers, or of a same ranking as me. That severely limits who I can interact with in person. Social media gives me the same vibe. I don’t necessarily want some of these folks knowing much about me off the clock. I don’t want to be seen with them. And some, I don’t trust to protect my reputation. If I’m to promote up, then I need to stay off people’s radars in the wrong way.

Coincidentally, because of Meta’s shitty algorithms, anytime I’ve left posts to my site on my Facebook page, they’ve gotten next to nothing for clicks according to my site’s analytics. So, the chance many of them find my website is slim. I feel very comfortable sticking to my personal site and its federated presence on Mastodon.

So, what’s next? Apple has some built in blocks within its settings that can block you from certain apps and websites, or at least limit the time spent there. The other part of this is to fill the time I’m on socials with something more fulfilling, like writing, taking a walk, exercising, reading, learning, and so many other things I want to get into. I want to get back in shape and ride my bike more, maybe becoming a bit of a nerd around that. I’d like to check out concerts and sporting events. I also want to get serious about listening to music again, perhaps even trying to buy a vinyl or two every month from the local shops here. All of these are better options than doomscrolling and getting spied on.

But here’s the other part of the story. I’m going quietly outside of this post. I promise you, no one notices. No one ever does. My brother is an example of this. He has a Facebook profile that he’s never posted to, yet people still wish him happy birthday every year as if he were a regular. Nobody notices when you don’t use the shit.

I feel like all of this will get me back to having a more still mind. Coincidentally, one if my favorite people Craig Mod just wrote about this subject:

The modern smartphone, laden with the corporate ecosystem pulsing underneath its screen, robs us of this feeling, conspires to keep us from “true” fullness. The swiping, the news cycles, the screaming, the idiocy — if anything destroys a muse, it’s this. If anything keeps you locked into a fetid loop of looking, looking, and looking once more at the train wreck, it’s this. I find it impossible to feel fullness, even in the slightest, after having spent just a bit of a day in the thralls of the algorithms.

The smartphone eradicates “space” in the mind. With that psychic loss of space, grace becomes impossible. You see the knock-on effects of this rippling out across the world politically.

He then continues:

I realize the above might sound like the rant of a crank. But I think the detrimental — psychological and physiological — nature of doomscrolling, of being sucked into the algorithms, is something we all “know,” though — because we’re so cloaked in “onlineness” — often forget. The good thing: It’s easy to experience fullness, to pull your head out of the muck, to be the Goon Antipode, to cleave space from the online sludge in the mind, to hear some kind of “inner voice” once again, and then to act on what inspiration comes from that.

Seriously, check out Craig’s work, it’s great! But the point is there: we start to think for ourselves more the less we’re doomscrolling and actually living, creating, and learning. I feel like we’re collectively aware of it, but it feels like we’re also collectively waiting for everyone else to make the move away. I’m making that decision for myself now, starting with 30 days and going from there.

In the meantime, I look forward to living life with my friends and finding inspiration from my experiences. I’d love to follow more personal sites, so if you have one, let me know. And if you are local to me, seek me out. I’m not hard to find. Be good to yourselves.